By Societies Rules

Society Paves The Way

I am by far a hippy, but I believe I am a natural/attached parent, well I try to be in the best way I can be. By natural/attached I mean listening to my baby's cues in regards to breastfeeding, sleep and in general, we co sleep (in order to get sleep), I believe my children will become independent when they are ready and I believe separation anxiety is real and I help my child with it not push them through it. Ok I still use 85% disposable nappies and cloth occasionally, remember I said I try to be natural! But society today and in many Western countries tells us all of the above is ridiculous and that I am letting my child control my life! Well yes I am and yes we do in this family let our children control our life! Now before you scream that our children will be brats and get what they want, I don't mean we let them do what they please and have free range of everything! What I mean is we believe that our life now is devoted to our children who need us to guide them and attend to their needs. We plan our outings and events around our children's needs, we don't push the kids to do things even when others are making comments like "he should really be sleeping all night" or "are you still breastfeeding?" I am on number 2 child so those comments slide right off my back but when I was a new mum they confused me and made me doubt my 'mother instincts' so often! This is so wrong of our society to confuse and make new mum's doubt the best sign, their instinct! I was prompted to write this post after reading this article by Jen from The Path Less Taken (read full article here). The article was spot on and I just couldn't agree more!

Why should a mother be frowned upon because her baby sleeps better next to her? Of course the baby will it has just spent the last 9 months inside her! Now I realise this doesn't "work" for everyone and we all have our own ideas and feelings on parenting, but thats just it, if I want to comfort my child immediately after they fall then I will and it won't make him/her a sook or me a helicopter parent, no the opposite it will show my child I care and I am there to support them! I have no degree in Psychology but I do have 2 small children, I have watched my soon to be 4 year old develop and grow into a confident little girl. But guess what, shock horror, she co slept, she had separation anxiety and I nurtured that, I never left her with others (unless she was happy), I spent and still do spend all my time with her. I had people inform me that she will be cling, no confidence and won't grow- silence is golden isn't it- i now hear nothing from them and God forbid they say what a great job I have done! I am very respectful to ALL parents, even if I strongly disagree with something they do or they do things different to me, in the end it is their child and they are the parent. But what I disagree with is not being given the respect I deserve as a parent doing what I feel is best for my child! The way some people have acted in response to my mothering ways you would think I was neglecting my children not the complete opposite! Let me be the mother I choose to be, let me nurture my children the way I feel is right for them and keep your comments to yourself. No mother needs to hear someone say 'oh how does your husband feel about co sleeping or breastfeeding or you never leaving the kids', to those who ask those questions or want to here is my answer- we both realize we have 2 small children who need our undecided love and affection in order to well adjusted adults, and when they are well adjusted adults we can enjoy our 'alone' time congratulating ourselves for sticking to what we felt was best for the kids! We had children o involve them in every part of our life, to create a family not to be told 'you spend too much time with your children, what about each other' our children see us looking after each other which is worth more than a thousand words!

So go on with your parenting ways, do not let anyone stand in your way and say its wrong (unless it really s wrong as in against the law or neglect then please cease immediately) be proud of who you are as a parent and just love your kids! I don't and will not ever enforce my opinion or the way I do things on others- if asked i will offer my opinion, I will blog about my ways but never imply they are the best or better than anyone else. Our children are the next society so let's instill some good old fashioned morals and values back into them and allow them to bring up children in a world where your way isn't ridiculed or frowned upon.

Kate xxx

Delicious Recipes

So we all know just how hard it can be to find something our little one likes, then to make sure its healthy just adds to that dilemma!  Master X (18 months) has been loving his mashed vegetables (pumpkin, sweet potato and broccoli) since he started solids at 8 months, although this is great and excellent for his health, I wanted to experiment with a few new tastes plus add meat to his diet.  In previous attempts to add chicken to his veggies the chicken was either dry so Master X wasn't a fan of this or too chunky so he gaged most of the time which then led to him refusing his whole dinner!  I stumbled upon some recipes and tweaked them a little to suit Master X.  Below is the recipe for Chicken, Carrot & Garlic Mash, Salmon with Butternut Squash, Sweet Potato & garlic mash and Chicken, Sweetcorn & butternut Squash Puree. The beauty of ALL of these recipes is they can be made a a first puree for 6-9mths, then mashed for 9-12mths and then used as a side or full meal for older babies by not mashing as much!  Very versatile and the big plus they all freeze well, which is always great to be able to grab dinner from the freezer knowing its full of healthy things!

Chicken, Carrot & Garlic Mash

For The Mash

225g peeled floury potato, chopped into 1cm cubes (I used normal washed potato)

175g peeled carrot, chopped into 1cm cubes

1 clove of garlic, peeled and thinly sliced

125ml chicken or vegetable stock

1 tsp butter, softened

For The Chicken

1tsp butter

25g raw chicken breast, trimmed of fat

2tsp chicken or vegetable stock

1. Pre heat oven to 180c

2. First make the mash. Put the potato, carrot, garlic and stock into saucepan and bring to boil.  Reduce the heat, cover with lid and simmer for 15 mins until tender.  Leave to cool for 10 mins and then add butter and mash until smooth or puree if smoother texture required.

3. To cook the chicen, lightly grease the base of a small ovenproof dish with butter and place chicken in.  Dot the remaining butter on the top of the chicken and add stock.  Cover with foil and bake for 15 mins in the oven.  Allow the chicken to cool a little then finely dish (or shred with hands as it will be quite tender).

4. To serve, combine the chicken with the mash.  This can either be all mixed together then pureed for younger baby or just lightly mixed for older baby.

Be warned it is extremely yummy so you may want to put extra in bowl as I guarantee you will eat some!

Salmon with Butternut Squash, Sweet Potato & Garlic mash

For The Mash

175g peeled sweet potato, chopped into 1cm cubes

175g peeled butternut squash, chopped into 1cm cubes

1 clove of garlic, peeled and thinly sliced

125ml chicken or vegetable stock

For The Fish

25g trimmed salmon fillet, skinned and deboned

3 tbsp milk

1. First make the mash.  Put all the prepared vegetables in a saucepan, add the stock and bring to boil.  Reduce the heat and cover with lid, simmer for 15 mins or until tender.  Mash (or puree) and then leave to cool.

2. To cook the fish, place the salmon in a small saucepan with the milk.  Gently poach on a low heat, uncovered for 4-5 mins or until fish flakes easily.  Remove the fish from the milk with a slotted spoon and then flake the fish.  Make sure you do another check for any bones missed.

3. To serve combine the flaked salmon with the mash.  Again you can puree this together or you can mash it for older babies. 

Chicken, Sweetcorn & Butternut Squash Puree

225g peeled butternut squash, chopped into 1cm cubes

5 tbsp drained sweetcorn (you can use either frozen or tinned)

50g cooked chicken breast finely chopped (cook this chicken the same way as in the first recipe to give it a great flavour)

Put the butternut squash in a saucepan and add 250ml water.  Bring to boil and then reduce the heat and simmer uncovered for 12 minutes or until just soft.  Add the sweetcorn and chicken and continue to simmer for another 5 minutes.  Puree this mix or gently mash.

Once you find a recipe that your little one loves just double the ingredients to make a bigger batch that way you can freeze them.  All of these recipes, even though they are purees, can be used in the family meal to save cooking!  We had Steak and the carrot and garlic mash last night and it was delicious.  So you can make one batch of mash but serve it in different ways to suit each family member.  I think the garlic really makes it yummy plus the health benefits of garlic especially in winter are great!

Let me know how you go with these recipes and if your family love them as much as we do!  I will be doing a post on recipes for older children which can also be great snacks in the lucy box too!

Kate xxx

Space for rent

Life is full of events that occur where we sit back and wonder why?  It is full of times we feel we will never get over something.  I have personally been through times like this and as much as they are not fun they definitely improve our lives in some way.

I am currently going through a time of wondering if I will ever get over something, the hard thing is this 'thing' hasn't actually had an official end and I think that is what is making it even harder!  I love all my friends- I have friends who I only see or speak to few times a year, friends I only see at special events, friends I see all the time, and friends who hold a special place in my heart.  When a friend that held one of those special places in your heart decides to move out, it leaves a vacant space in your heart!  Many people have said just move on or people change and I get that I really do but that vacant space is still reluctant to put a for rent sign up just yet.  I find myself drifting back to times we laughed, the memories not only we created but created with our children and families.  The hard thing is we only have control of ourselves I cannot control how this other person feels or acts, I wish I knew how to mend this situation (as there was no argument or disagreement to be the cause) but I am lost for answers.  Is it wrong to "fight" for a friendship?  I don't think it is and for the time being my gloves will remain on, I will fight for this friendship (so to speak).  I will until I can no longer, until the time comes that I begin to be not valued by this person any longer, I think that time is close but until then her space still fills my heart.

My husband and I have a great connection and he listens and supports so well but when it comes to women and friendship, he just doesn't cut it (I say that with respect and kindness).  To me you have few friends in your life you can ring in a crisis and know they'll have your back, call them right after you've stormed out of the place after a meaningless argument with your husband only to end the conversation with 'we really do have the best husbands out', the one you ring when your child does something that amazes or frustrates you, the one you ring just because!  When one of these friends leaves you you feel venerable and a little lost!  Don't get me wrong i am not walking around the place with my head hung and not being able to function, I am perfectly fine in that sense and my life is continuing on in a great way but that vacant space still hurts from time to time.  I know people change and I accept that but when it happens so fast and practically overnight it really hits you for a 6.  I love social media and email, I find it so helpful with business but it has given people an escape route, they don't need to call you or meet face to face to discuss things anymore it can all be done viral!  This is hard in these situations as you cannot tell the persons tone of voice through email or text or Facebook!  

For now I am hoping things may just creep back the way they were, as I give my dear friend the space required, but honestly I can kind of feel her slipping away and that hurts ever so much.  Tell your friends how important they are, don't take them for granted for one day they may end their lease with you even when you never ever thought your friendship would end.

"True friendship is like sound health; the value of it is seldom known until it be lost." 

                                                      - Charles Caleb Colton-

Kate xxx

Let's Celebrate!

Disney are famous for making children's lives that little bit more magical with their movies, shows and books!  Well they didn't disappoint with this years Disney on Ice show!  It was amazing, oh and the kids thought it was great too!

Just prior to meltdown for Master X

I was a little nervous to tell you the truth, you see both of my kids are asleep by 6pm and the show started at 6pm.  I knew Miss P would be fine it was Master X I was nervous about, I kept thinking this could go one of 2 ways- screaming hysterically and overtired or falls asleep through show.  About half way through first session I began to think he was going to go the first way!  Luckily intermission was close so outside the doors we went for a run and change of scenery.  We then purchased a massive bucket of popcorn and Master X was set, back in our seat he sat with popcorn on his lap and focused on the show- we dodged a bullet, thank you food!!!

Master X and his bucket of popcorn!

Back to the show, WOW! Firstly the ice skater are amazing, I realise they have to be to perform but just so graceful and then the people in those huge costumes I take my hat off to them!  I can only just ice skate myself I couldn't imagine flying around the ice in a huge dinosaur (from Toy Story) suit!!! The lights, the music and special affects gave me goosebumps and was so exciting!  Of course Miss P was so excited when all of the Disney Princesses came out (Ariel mostly) and of course Tinkerbell!  Although she is going through a fascination with scary things at the moment so she tells me the Halloween part was her favourite bit!  

Then to the merchandise!  I am a shocker with it, I can't help myself but get the kids at least one piece of merchandise each!  This time they got the Disney (Mickey and Minnie) light twirlers.  After about 5 minutes of receiving them Master X had a forehead full of red marks from the twirlers whacking him in the head (mind you he found this hilarious!).  These twirlers saved me a few times too at the onset of a Master X meltdown!

Light twirlers!

It was a great night, we don't go out at night with the kids much, so it was exciting for all!  Once at car into pjs and by the time I had reached the first roundabout outside the Brisbane Entertainment Centre snoring was coming from both of the kids!  Disney you did it again, great show and great memories!

Kate xxx

Brisbane Winter Festival

Queensland weather is the best right? But wouldn’t it be nice to experience a little bit of winter wonderland here in sunny Queensland!  Now you can until the 1st July in King George Square Brisbane.

We visited The Winter Festival last Sunday and it was magical!  My youngest has always seen ice-skating on the TV and begged to go.  I was always a bit hesitant due to the fact she is only 3 and ice is hard when you fall (I know I have hit the ice many times).  I looked up the Winter Festival online and discovered the great Bobby Seal- what a fantastic idea!  I was then sold we were going!

Once there it was literally a winter wonderland, both the kids were in awe of the set up.  It really feels like you are walking into a little snow village! There were several little huts surrounding the ice rink, serving yummy winter warming delights!  Attached to the ice rink was the Lipton Tea tent, which was lovely and warm and you could sit on the edge of the rink in there so great for spectators.

                           

All the staff were so helpful and we grabbed our skates and Bobby and headed to the gate!  My eldest (3 years) wanted to try skating so she did attempt it but very slippery and she opted to stay on the safety of Bobby and be pushed by me.  It was really a great family time as we pushed the kids around the ice, the smiles on all the kids faces (some scary looks on parents faces as they tried to stay upright) was just magical.  It was a great day out and one the kids will look back on and smile about.

                           

It is definitely worth the trip to King George Square for this event, with school holidays upon us definitely add this event to your to do list!  Plenty of parking, public transport, great amenities and just a magical winter atmosphere!  Head to their website here and get your tickets and have some winter fun!

Kate xx

The Journey So Far

Motherhood brings with it triumphs, dilemmas and challenges! I have had my fair share of all of these with my two little ones. The biggest triumph I have had with both the kids has been breastfeeding- Miss P was fed until 16 months and Master X is still feeding at 17 months. I have had a wonderful journey with both and the journey for Master X and I is almost over, we would like to add to the tribe and in order to do this I need to cease breastfeeding (doctors orders and I had to do the same to fall pregnant with Master X) here lies the dilemma, getting Master X to go along happily with this is the challenge!

We are not ones for cry it out and Master X will not allow anyone else to settle him especially if not feeding is offered! So I began to do what I do best- read and research. I found an excellent article by Dr Jay Gordon (thanks to a great friend for it) on gentle night weaning (here) and it's exactly the way we would want to approach it and intend to. I also visited the Australian Breastfeeding Association forum and gained alot of tips from other mums and breastfeeding experts. It also made me reflect back on the journey to the end so far.

About two weeks ago I stopped day feeds so Master X was only having feeds at night. I thought this would be the best way and then we would just focus on the night feeds. Well he got sick (still no day feeds) so night feeds remained and then I to sick so again still feeding at night. This brings us to now. As of late my little man has been throwing alot of very emotional tantrums, really upset heartbroken almost. I know this is common for his age but I can see there's more to them. Since the time I stopped his day feeds he has become very clingy and quite upset if I move away from him and has begun waking more frequently at night than normal. He wakes quite scared and almost as if he's lost. Then I thought a bit harder and looked at the big picture. Master X began this over emotional behavior a day after I dropped day feeds, it was gradual but started then. Then his night wakings became more often and alot more upset when he woke- normally he'd wake, roll over, feed go to sleep but lately he wakes screaming, then eventually feeds then asleep. He has also been waking at 430 am everyday, he normal rises early like the rest of the house but normally 530-6am! Then today he seemed really unsettled and it really concerned me, he had a good nap through day, no teeth, not sick. I kept thinking I know this has to do with breastfeeding. Lately he has been pulling on my shirt through the day crying for milk. So tonight I have decided I want my happy little boy back and I have been going the wrong way about it. Thanks to some expert advice from Australian Breastfeeding Association I realized I was doing things in reverse. I need to increase the day feeds which will eventually decrease the need/want for night feeds. This will then allow me to begin gradual total night feeds.

I have such a great supportive husband who always tells me to just listen to my heart and listen to Master X. As much as we want to add to the tribe, if there is a bigger age gap between number 2 and 3 then so be it we would rather that than Master X being so unsettled. So to,or row starts the new plan of attack, day feeds reintroduced and increased- when wake, after breakfast, morning tea, after lunch, afternoon tea, afternoon and before bed. I know this won't have an instant effect but hopefully over few weeks he will not wake as much through night for a feed as he is being fulfilled throughout the day. His tantrums will probably still remain (being an 18month it comes with the territory) but they won't be as emotional. I have had the best journey(s) with breastfeeding so far I don't want to end it badly. So wish me luck in this journey and here's to making my little man feel reassured again.

Kate xxx

School Holidays...So Far

Rain you can leave now and do not return for at least 2 weeks!!!!  We have this great calendar filled with activities to do over the holidays and majority of activities are OUTDOORS!!  

On a brighter note, we went to Dora show yesterday and it was great!  I just love to see my kids faces mesmerised and full of joy!  Master X slept for the first half and then woke and enjoyed every minute from there.  Meanwhile Miss P was dancing and following Dora's directions the whole time.  We caught the City Cat from South Bank and again the kids loved it!  If you are looking for something to do definitely take a City Cat ride around the river, maybe get off at a few stops, the tickets last for 2 hours so not an expensive activity either.  Find the City Cat timetable here. 

So our school holidays are off to a great start, a little rain this morning but lots to do at home so works well.  Taking Miss P to the movies tomorrow for some one on one time, seeing Brave so I will write a review tomorrow!  Then its Disney on Ice Thursday night which we are really excited about, again a review to come!  So much to look forward to and I really am just loving the time with both the kids.  For awhile there I felt my days were flying by and I spent so much time stressing about the house or bills instead now I am focusing more on the things I can never get back like creating childhood memories with the kids!

Hope your school holidays are going well, what do you have planned?  Any fun things you'd like to share please do.

Kate xxx