De-clutter: Material & Financial

For a few months now I have been de-cluttering our house of material items that we either don't use or just don't need anymore.  I felt I was on such a roll and feeling great about it all but then I realised an area that needed SERIOUS de-cluttering had been overlooked!  Our finances! We have just been living, very freely actually way too freely!  A very easy trap to get into if one is not careful! So began the de-cluttering of finances- changing insurance companies, cancelling memberships that weren't necessary anymore and just generally clearing out items we really don't need.

I have always just spent money without really looking at the big picture.  What was the problem, kids were happy, we were doing things we enjoyed so what is the harm?  The harm was that we were living in the moment not reality!  We have a beautiful home, new car, clean and nice clothes and food this is all we need to be happy. I was so consumed by material and "doing" things that I lost focus on what was really important.  This isn't a post about never buying anything nice because some people have no food!  Just because you go on holiday or buy something nice isn't bad or wrong but doing this all the time can lead to problems!  I would rather be able to live with what we have and not stress about money than live with all these "things" but stress every night about money!

You know what we did this weekend?  We cleaned out our garage of all the things we no longer need, use or want!  Oh my gosh you should see how much we have to sell.  I will be on eBay all morning.  But it is the same feeling you get when you de-clutter your office or room, being able to breathe again!  I am yet to go through the inside of the house and find the items we no longer need or use but once that is done I will feel much more content.  Miss P's birthday is coming up and I have 4 lay-bys on with presents- RIDICULOUS!  I love buying things for the kids but honestly they do not need that many presents at a birthday or Christmas!  So I cancelled them too, we will be giving her 3 presents (3 things she has been asking for constantly and really wants) and a birthday party, so i think she is still a very lucky girl!  The choices we make about money and material things really does influence our children- the other morning I said to Miss P "we won't be having a jumping castle at your party, I am sorry but it is just too much money".  Do you know what her response was?  "That's OK mum, can we play other games?"  Honestly, this coming from an almost 4 year old!  

We now have a budget printed, with absolutely everything written down on it showing us everything we have to pay monthly.  We are going to stick to this and every cent earn over budget will be going straight onto the debts we have.  Normally we just spend it on something meaningless but we need to start thinking smart and putting it all away.  The extra $5 here and there may seem like nothing at the time but added up can pay something off quicker which will leave you debt free sooner.  So I was very quiet on the blog last week as I was struggling to deal with the stress and also spending all my time finding ways to cut back and also stay on track. I came to terms with something last week, I realised that if we lost everything material tomorrow (not that its even close to that but my mind wandered that way) it wouldn't bother me, OK I would be sad and feel bad but having our clothes, possessions, each other we would just dust off get up and start again. My husband, my kids, my family would all still be there no one can break us.  That may sound cliche but its the truth and it took this slump for me to finally realise that.  It doesn't stop me stressing about money or stop me trying to find ways to cut back it just puts things into perspective for me.

So now that you know why I was quiet!  I am back and hope to bring you lots of things that are helping us with finances and with a party only weeks away there will be lots of party posts I am sure.

Kate xxx

Musical Fantasy

So as most know I don't get out much, its not that I can't its just I don't want to.  I don't like leaving the kids at night so when we do venture out alone its normally through the day.  Thanks to my lovely mum who jumps at the chance to have her grandkids, hubby and I went and saw the Jabbawockeez on Saturday afternoon.  I booked the show tickets awhile ago and was really looking forward to it.  The show was at 3pm so we decided to head down early for lunch at the delicious Food Fantasy (best buffet around) and of course a gamble or two or three in the Casino!  I find it so much more relaxing to go out during the day than at night and I am not as tired too!  So lets begin at the food.....

That was dessert AFTER I had 2 platefuls of lunch!!

Devine is all that comes to mind when I think of the food I consumed.  The selection of beautifully prepared hot and cold food was amazing!  Whenever we go to Jupiters (which is every 2 years or so) we always eat at Food Fantasy and it never disappoints. Where our table was meant we had to bypass the desserts each time, which to some may seem like a bad thing but it helped me remember to not eat so much from the rest of the buffet so I had room for all of the desserts!!  By the end of lunch I was as full as ever, I kind of waddled out, the best way to leave a buffet I say!  Up to the Casino we ventured...

I amlike a little kid in a candy store every time I visit the Casino!  I am not a gambler, well I love to have a little gamble but I hate to lose money so once its gone I leave as the fun is gone!  My favourite game is Blackjack, and happens to be a favourite of the friend I went with too (you were extremely funny at the table too!) so in search of the cheapest Blackjack table we went!  Being the middle of the day not many of the $5 tables were open- dammit- so we settled for the $15 table.  I had a ball, I think I won double my money but i played it all back on the table so walked out with none.  Thats the way i gamble!  So once we were broke it was time to find our way to the theatre and be seated for the JABBAWOCKEEZ!!!!!!!

Excited much!!!!

When i purchased the tickets I did the usual check of where the tickets were and was happy with the seating thinking it was about in the middle and quite central. Well......upon entering the theatre the lovely lady checked our tickets and told us to proceed toward sthe front, at this stage I didn't think anything of it but then the next lady to check tickets told us we were front row, FRONT ROW!!  and smack bang in the middle of the front row too!!!!  Turns out the seating plan I checked was the old one!  So once the excitement of being so close settled it was time for the show to begin.....

 

The show was amazing to say the least, I don't really have the right words to explain it other than FANTASTIC! I would see it over and over again.  Those guys were amazingly talented, funny and just damn good.  I went in thinking it was just dancing, looking forward to it but it was way more than dancing, it was theatrical and funny as well as phenomenal dancing!  I was really hoping I would be chosen (as they chose people from audience a few times) but not this time!  It was a fantastic show and honestly if you have the time do yourself a favour and go and see it.  I thought it ended at the end of August but have since found out it has been extend until November.  I can't rave enough about it and at the end of the 90 minutes I was upset it was over.  Here's the link to the Jabbawockeez, take a look they are fantastic.

Kate xxx

Digital Parents Conference 2013

Ok this is huge for me.....I am wanting to attend the Digital Parents Conference 2013!  I am not one to normally ask for help (ask my husband he will agree!!) but I need help. I have a button on the side of this blog requesting sponsorship, I would love to get a sponsor on board so I could attend this event which I think will help my blogging which will help all of you, naturally!


So know anyone out there wanting to put their brand, label or business behind an up coming blogger (oh gosh I hope that didn't sound up myself)??  So don't judge me for asking please....I just had to put it out there and hope someone wants to work with me.

Click the badge on sidebar if you can help

Kate xxx

Today's Technology

I love gadgets, I love technology and I am always using it!  But as a parent there comes a time when we must take a look at what our children will be exposed to soon.  With Miss P turning 4 soon she is already on the iPad- which I don't mind as its monitored and I am the one that puts educational content on there- but soon she will be exposed to the Internet which quite frankly FREAKS ME OUT!


Just last night Mr D was telling me how he was looking on the Internet at metal tools for work (he is a roofer) and in the top search listings came a site which really disturbed him.  It was a site about how to murder people and get away with it!  Can you believe that, top listing on Google, after typing in metal tools this comes up!  Surely Google have some control over what they list and I small for making profits but where are their morals!  We wonder why our society is so ruthless, why the robberies are so violent and during daylight and why there are so many sickening deaths happening daily!  These sites that "pop" up may not make you or I go out and perform any of it (well I hope none of my readers do!) but all it takes is one sick or unstable person to see it, get an idea and then execute it! I definitely don't live with rose coloured glasses on- gee i would love to be so much better- I realise the world has these evil things in it, but to have it in your face and even when you don't deliberately search for it has really scared me.

In this household safety matters

This incident then got me thinking about the kids, it cemented in the need for parental controls on computers.  Now don't jump to think I am going to wrap them in cotton wool, but there are some things that kids don't need to be exposed to, things that don't better their life in any way. We always said that the kids would have a communal computer, in a part of the house that was visible to us (like the study) and we would make use of parental controls.  Not to restrict the children's freedom but to restrict content like my husband found or pornography sites appearing.  We want our son (and daughter) to learn about sex the right way, the dignified way not think that pornography is sex.  I had this discussion with my mother the other day, she said that she would not like to raise children in this society, I tend to agree but have no choice!  Not all of this society is bad, but this whole freedom to do whatever you like, say whatever you like and advertise whatever you like is scary and damaging to today's children- heck sometimes it damages me! I don't dislike all of today's society love way more than I don't like but simple things like classifications have gone out the window- adult TV shows on at 730pm when most children are still awake, the use of swear words on morning radio stations and to some words like s#*t and b*#ch may not be swear words but to us they are and I wouldn't want to hear those words come from my children yet how can we blame so many kids these days that are subject to these radio stations or TV shows that use them as everyday words.  It just all makes me so angry sometimes.

Recycle- we recycle our morals and values with our children who then recycle for their children

I'm sure you have heard or seen the Emily Seebohm incident- crying that she got silver and disappointed everyone- I was appalled that she was made feel this way, you can be naturally hard on yourself as most top athletes are but this display came from a lot of media pressure and expectations.  Silver, really, I would have been flat out getting to the blocks I am that slow!  Miss P saw her crying on TV and asked why so I explained, her response "but she has a nice shiny necklace (the medal)" this made me realise I must keep instilling this to them both that no matter what if you tried your hardest you should be proud. I said to Mr D last night that we cannot change the whole society but we can install morals and values into our children and they may just pass this to other children along the way.  Our children are aware of the real world (where age appropriate), they won't be hidden under a rock until they are 18, but they will not be exposed to material that does nothing but damage them.  My promise to my family is to protect them from what society isn't protecting!

Kate xxx

Deflated

You can only feel on top of the world for so long! I've talked myself through these feelings for awhile now, I've tried to be positive but tonight....I'm deflated! I feel like someone squeezed all the air from me.

Imagine this....You spend so many years being the best friend you think you can be, being there for a friend whenever they need, making them feel valued and basically just doing what a true friend does. Then POP overnight you're told you have a negative affect on them, their life is too busy for you to be in it, your friendship is too much! So for weeks, months you try to get a grip of the situation in your mind. You've tried to just move on but your heart breaks whenever you think about a memory you created with this friend. Memories you created with your kids too who are now trying to understand why they haven't seen their friends for so long.

I've been doing the above for months now and I'm now exhausted. I know it's time to just get over it but I honestly have no idea where to start, no idea what so ever! How do you get over a friendship you don't want to be over? Then I have moments where I get angry, angry because I haven't even been given the decency of a phone call or in person chat- its all via text, email or Facebook. 8 years of friendship and now there's no personal just words typed on a screen! I think I'm worth more than that, I feel I deserve better treatment.

As I type through tears, I know I'll probably never see this friend again, we will never go on holidays together, we will never share our children's milestones or share anything for that matter, I'm slowly breaking down. I knew this moment would come where I think I'm just going to cry for days but I know I need to. I know I need to cry and then wipe up the tears and continue on with life. I know there are people worse off than me, suffering more than me and my heart goes out to them but this is real for me and I'm hurting. I have an amazing husband and 2 children I adore so in the long run I'll be fine but for the moment, I'm really not. Really, really not.

Kate xxx

Guest Post: First Steps In Creating A Will

It may seem far away and be depressing to think about, but the inevitable fact of life is that none of us are going to be around forever. When it comes down to it, what you ultimately want to do is to protect your family and prepare them for the future. Sitting down and writing a will to divide your assets can be tough and confronting, but writing and storing it away will eventually bring you and your family greater peace of mind.

If you’re unsure of where to begin, here are the first steps in creating a will.

Remember the logistics

Writing a will is a complex activity and it is probably best to use a lawyer or attorney to help you. If you want to write your own will, start with the basics. Firstly, clearly identify yourself by your name, address and birthday, and state that you are of sound mental health. Also remember to make a note that this is your final will and any other wills you may have written in the past are now invalid.

Then, appoint an executor of the will – this person will carry out your instructions and divide your estate as you wished. Choose an honest friend or lawyer and make sure they are aware of their role. Empower the executor to be in charge of paying your debts, funeral costs and taxes as well as authorising them to deal with your real estate.

List your assets and divide them – remember to include a residuary clause

It is important to list as many of your assets as you can and then assign them to the family members, friends or charities you wish them to go to.  It helps to divide your monetary wealth into percentages and divide it that way. If you have been through a separation or had to deal with divorce law, make sure you keep your will up to date.

Lastly, it’s important to include a residuary clause in your will. This takes everything that was not specifically listed in your will and divides it between your "residuary beneficiaries".

Sign it and store it in a safe place

Be sure to sign your will correctly and in the presence of at least two witnesses, who must note their full name and address. Although partners and beneficiaries of the will can be witnesses, it is better if you find people independent of the will to sign it. This will reduce the risk of any legal disputes later down the track.

Store the will in a safe place such as a safe or secure filing cabinet. Tell your executor where you have stored the will and entrust them with a copy.

Making a will is one of the most important things you can do, especially if you have a family. It ensures your children will be looked after and cared for in the way you wished. Think about the making of a will as a necessity – not a morbid exercise!

** This is a guest post written by Jodie Parker, who is passionate about helping others understand the legal system.  She currently works with non-profit organisations with keeping their legalities in order.

Watts McCray is a leading provider and specialist of family law services in Australia. With Accredited Specialists in Family Law, a strong emphasis on communication, and an understanding of people, Watts McCray provides you with a caring and supportive environment to help resolve your legal issues.

My Letter To You Both

I wrote this in my head whilst feeding Master X to sleep tonight....

To my little ones,

Each night I get the privilege of putting you both to bed, watching you drift off to slumber land and hopefully dream lovely dreams.  Whilst you sleep I often lay there staring at you both and thinking how blessed I am and how fateful I am to have you both!  You are both the most beautiful children, learning each day at such a rapid rate.  I take pride in both of you when we are out, I take pride in how much you both are so loving already at such a young age.  

Let me tell you now, I will never abandon you, not now, not later in life not ever!  Sometimes I do get carried away doing tasks or cleaning but you both have that power to pull me away from these chores and enjoy what you both.  I cherish these moments we spend together, everyday we spend doing lots of things or just a few things or sometimes just being at home!

Always know that each day I love you with ALL of my heart, with you both I carry my heart on my sleeve!  You both give me strength, astronomical strength daily! There are days you both drive me crazy (a good crazy that is) and I feel like we just haven't connected but then at the end of those days we have our cuddles and I tuck you both in and realise you did drive me crazy- crazy in love with you both!

To some the way I am as a mother is weird, or too much but to both of you it is clear it is exactly what you need.  I will never push you to be ready or independent or better or stronger.  I will just support you, I will guide you and most of all I will nurture you the way a mother should.  I will protect you but not obstruct your learning, I will help you but also let you learn it yourself, your needs will always be met but you won't be spoilt just spoilt with love!  You will always know what you mean to me, you will always feel what you mean to me.  

Sleep well my little ones, I cannot wait for the sun to come up and we can enjoy another day together.  Master X I will see you several times through the night as I help you fall back asleep, you take your time I will always be right there.  Goodnight xxx

I have printed this letter and intend to keep it and show them both when older.  I love them so much.

Kate xxx