You can only feel on top of the world for so long! I've talked myself through these feelings for awhile now, I've tried to be positive but tonight....I'm deflated! I feel like someone squeezed all the air from me.
Imagine this....You spend so many years being the best friend you think you can be, being there for a friend whenever they need, making them feel valued and basically just doing what a true friend does. Then POP overnight you're told you have a negative affect on them, their life is too busy for you to be in it, your friendship is too much! So for weeks, months you try to get a grip of the situation in your mind. You've tried to just move on but your heart breaks whenever you think about a memory you created with this friend. Memories you created with your kids too who are now trying to understand why they haven't seen their friends for so long.
I've been doing the above for months now and I'm now exhausted. I know it's time to just get over it but I honestly have no idea where to start, no idea what so ever! How do you get over a friendship you don't want to be over? Then I have moments where I get angry, angry because I haven't even been given the decency of a phone call or in person chat- its all via text, email or Facebook. 8 years of friendship and now there's no personal just words typed on a screen! I think I'm worth more than that, I feel I deserve better treatment.
As I type through tears, I know I'll probably never see this friend again, we will never go on holidays together, we will never share our children's milestones or share anything for that matter, I'm slowly breaking down. I knew this moment would come where I think I'm just going to cry for days but I know I need to. I know I need to cry and then wipe up the tears and continue on with life. I know there are people worse off than me, suffering more than me and my heart goes out to them but this is real for me and I'm hurting. I have an amazing husband and 2 children I adore so in the long run I'll be fine but for the moment, I'm really not. Really, really not.
Kate xxx
Oh Kate, I am so sorry to hear what you are going through. I went through the same thing with a friend that I had for 21 years. The contact just stopped like that suddenly after seeing or speaking to each other every day for our whole lives. I wish that I could offer you advice on how to get through this, but 10 years down the track I still think about and miss my friendship that I had too xx
ReplyDeleteI've woken to a mass headache, you know the morning after a huge cry one! It just feels like I'm missing something and I know over time it'll slowly heal but I guess the lack of personal too is hurting, and also the suddenness of it all. I always hoped we be calling each other as our kids went through teenage years etc but we won't be. Wow 21 years that must have really hurt, life just ain't fair sometimes x
DeleteThere's actually very few people from high school I am in contact with (and you are one!). I had a similar situation (ok, not similar, but a 'friend shock' if you will...) I asked one of my closest friends (through high school), who I considered my best friend at the time, to be my bridesmaid at my upcoming wedding. She told me blankly (and I remember this so clearly - it's etched into my brain!) "Oh, I didn't think we were that good friends any more..." She was in my house and it stumped me. I didn't know what to say. She ended up being invited to the wedding, but then lost contact for 4.5 years. We are back speaking on facebook, but lets see how that goes. You are a fantastic person, don't beat yourself up xx
ReplyDeleteThanks I appreciate your kind words. It's just so hard cos I never saw this coming never even imagined our friendship ending it honestly was never a thought I had we always spoke daily, saw each other at least fortnightly as we live not close so this has hit me for 6
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