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Thursday, 16 August 2012

Till Death Do Us Part

Do you ever ask yourself why? Why am I sick? Why do we have debt? Why am I having to do __________ or ____________? Why did I marry him? No only joking to the last one, well most of the time I am only joking! No I really do love my husband- flaws and all! That's my point really, who lives in a perfect world, perfect society and perfect people? I sure as hell dont (damn I will be struck down for using that word! At least I will know why). Lately all i have been hearing on the tv, newspaper (do we still have newspapers??) is divorce, ugly seperation, how to be perfect, how to be a millionairs and be perfect, how to lose weight and be perfect, perfect, perfect, perfect! What is perfect? That is the problem, we all have different views on perfect.

*And before I get grilled for my comments on divorce or seperation let me add this- I do not judge anyone or anyone's situation, divorce and seperation happens I have friends and family who have been there so I for one hold no judgement, I am purely talking about reasons behind them not the actual action.*

Now where was I......oh perfect that's right. Not many people seem to want to work at relationships these days, it seems to be all just great to flick off one and start another, looking for the "perfect" one. Don't wedding vows mean anything anymore? Have vows just become materialised too, the "in" thing to do? My husband and I were talking over dinner the other night as we gazed into each others eyes......HAHA not really, actually anyone who knows me would know how far I am from doing that! Seriously, we began talking about some young guys that work for us and how their conversations go about relationships and I honestly hope my daughter steers clear of any like them, if they're all like this when she is older she is becoming a nun. As for Master X he will be taught very differently to these boys! Absolutely no respect for women, relationship and just a general lack of respect. Girlfriend got pregnant, off to have an abortion (whole new can of worms for me and I am sure I will blog about my thoughts on it) and onto next girlfriend. Now I am not saying all are like this nor am I saying every has to commit but where has the respect gone. My husband, 9 times out of 10, shows great respect for me, especially in front of other people! I guess that where I know Master X will be ok as his dad is a great role model in the way a man treats a woman and Miss P will look for someone who respects her as much as her dad shows her and myself. From what I see though it wont be an easy find.

Everything is disposable these days- workers, partners, children. It's all been made so easy for everyone just to move on. In some cases divorce or seperation must happen for safety- both physically or menatlly, unresolved issues etc but gve it a go. My parents have been married for 45 years- god love them- and my mum always says if she got upset at everything thing my dad did wrong or that annoyed her or made her upset she would have left many moons ago, but marriage is a marathon not a sprint! You put up with those annoying things, get over those sad moments and forgive the wrong (as long as it's not crossing boundaries!) and grow together. It is a bit of a rant this post but I just get a little tired of hearing "oh it's just not what I expected it to be" not because expectations lead disaster". I heard this one the radio the other morning- "Happiness = reality minus expectations". I love it and its so true, if you be happy with what you have, who you have then you will experience true happiness but if ou try and live to what you expected you will never be happy. Dream, by all means dream, but if it doesn't happen don't let that expectation rule your life.

I am not perfect (I am close HAHA), my husband isn't perfect but I am so happy with the reality of it all and I hope I am still arguing with my husband at 80 because it means we still care enough and passionate about something. This is not a cliche post, I am at fault for wanting it all now too at times but it doesn't make you happy. Sometimes dreams have to be let go, it's a way of life. These young guys wanting these "perfect" women are ruining women, making them into superficial beings who won't bring them any happiness in the long run. Life isn't about quick fixe or quick money, its about the journey. I just think too many people have become used to being a throw away society, too hard baskets are filling up everywhere. Wedding vows are no longer even a necessity anymore, just get that band on and start the party, which is fine but does anyone really listen tothe vows anymore? I am happy to say that both my husband and I would be there for each other through sickness aand health, through good times and bad, for richer and poorer til death do us part. Because we vowed to do this.

This post has no judgement on anyone or any situation, it is my views based on what I see happening around me. Each circumstance is indivdual and each person has their own rights, these are mine.

Kate xxx

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