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Monday, 2 July 2012

Space for rent

Life is full of events that occur where we sit back and wonder why?  It is full of times we feel we will never get over something.  I have personally been through times like this and as much as they are not fun they definitely improve our lives in some way.

I am currently going through a time of wondering if I will ever get over something, the hard thing is this 'thing' hasn't actually had an official end and I think that is what is making it even harder!  I love all my friends- I have friends who I only see or speak to few times a year, friends I only see at special events, friends I see all the time, and friends who hold a special place in my heart.  When a friend that held one of those special places in your heart decides to move out, it leaves a vacant space in your heart!  Many people have said just move on or people change and I get that I really do but that vacant space is still reluctant to put a for rent sign up just yet.  I find myself drifting back to times we laughed, the memories not only we created but created with our children and families.  The hard thing is we only have control of ourselves I cannot control how this other person feels or acts, I wish I knew how to mend this situation (as there was no argument or disagreement to be the cause) but I am lost for answers.  Is it wrong to "fight" for a friendship?  I don't think it is and for the time being my gloves will remain on, I will fight for this friendship (so to speak).  I will until I can no longer, until the time comes that I begin to be not valued by this person any longer, I think that time is close but until then her space still fills my heart.

My husband and I have a great connection and he listens and supports so well but when it comes to women and friendship, he just doesn't cut it (I say that with respect and kindness).  To me you have few friends in your life you can ring in a crisis and know they'll have your back, call them right after you've stormed out of the place after a meaningless argument with your husband only to end the conversation with 'we really do have the best husbands out', the one you ring when your child does something that amazes or frustrates you, the one you ring just because!  When one of these friends leaves you you feel venerable and a little lost!  Don't get me wrong i am not walking around the place with my head hung and not being able to function, I am perfectly fine in that sense and my life is continuing on in a great way but that vacant space still hurts from time to time.  I know people change and I accept that but when it happens so fast and practically overnight it really hits you for a 6.  I love social media and email, I find it so helpful with business but it has given people an escape route, they don't need to call you or meet face to face to discuss things anymore it can all be done viral!  This is hard in these situations as you cannot tell the persons tone of voice through email or text or Facebook!  

For now I am hoping things may just creep back the way they were, as I give my dear friend the space required, but honestly I can kind of feel her slipping away and that hurts ever so much.  Tell your friends how important they are, don't take them for granted for one day they may end their lease with you even when you never ever thought your friendship would end.

"True friendship is like sound health; the value of it is seldom known until it be lost." 
                                                      - Charles Caleb Colton-

Kate xxx

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